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End The Blame Game
Who do you blame if something goes wrong in your career? Your
boss or former boss? Your employer or past employer?
Colleagues, family members, or the person who recently was hired and
either took away your job or the promotion you wanted?
How about if no one is to blame, but someone is responsible?
How about if the responsible person is you?
We are a society of blamers. (We all do it.) And even though we
criticize others for not taking responsibility for their careers,
when it's our turn and something happens to us, we look outward to
assign blame. And who would fault us? The job market has been tough
and fear has been rampant. We need to point a finger at someone or
something, and in many cases, the finger does not point in our
direction.
I am not saying that you should walk around with the world on your
shoulders if something in your career goes awry. I am saying to
accept what happened, learn from the experience, forgive yourself,
make a plan to refocus, and then move on. Time will pass anyway. And
how do you want to spend your time? Mad at the world, mad at
yourself, or on fire and moving in a positive direction?
So How Do We End The Blame Game? Follow These Steps Below:
1) Recognize What Blame Is Costing You
Sometimes blame feels good. We like to be right and if we are right,
then another party has to be wrong. We feel vindicated because we
know who hurt us and why they are to blame. The downside to blame is
we stay stuck and stagnant which makes us feel worse. When we are
wronged, we have a decision to make. Be right (and stuck) or be
moving. Living well is always the best revenge.
2) Recognize That You Can Stop Being A Blamer
Blaming can be just as addictive as anything else. The adrenaline
and the juice we feel makes us feel alive. But you can stop blame if
you want to. Sometimes we continue at habits or thoughts that no
longer serve us because we are not sure who we would be without
them. Trust that a new you will emerge once you get rid of the
blame. Trust that the answers and the direction you seek are there
once the cloud of blame has been cleared.
3) Recognize That Without Responsibility There Can Be No Forward
Movement
When you accept responsibility for your career, a sense of calm will
emerge. No longer will your energies be focused outward but inward
on you. You will feel great, motivated, and empowered. Your sense of
purpose and direction will reappear. You will enjoy being with you
again.
4) Recognize That With A Plan Great Things Happens
Once you are responsible then you can be accountable. You can plan
your work, and work your plan. You can open your calendar and put
items into it again. You can take your goals and break them into
small achievable pieces. You can look towards the future and the
future will be brighter. You can move forward and achieve results.
You can make plans and expect to reach them. You can be a person who
used to be a blamer and one that has become a goal reaching machine.
So what do you say? You only have one life to live so it might as
well be a life you love!
****************************************************
Deborah Brown-Volkman is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc.
a career and mentor coaching company that has been delivering a
message of motivation, success,
and personal fulfilment since 1998. We work with Senior Executives,
Vice Presidents, and Managers, who are out of work or overworked.
Deborah is the author of "Coach Yourself To A New Career: A Book To
Discover Your Ultimate Profession," that can
be found on amazon.com. To Learn More Visit:
http://www.surpassyourdreams.com, send an e-mail to
info@surpassyourdreams.com or call (631) 874-2877.
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